Love Me Tender
Back when I was a PTF, one of my jobs was to distribute letter mail, and flats to the other carriers. On one morning in particular, I was wearing these 'musical' underwear that played the tune 'Love Me Tender'.
As I was distributing the letter mail which came to us in the large 'hampers', the little 'button' (located in the waistband of the panties) that triggered the playing of the tune got jammed when I bended over the side of the hamper to pick up a tray of mail. The music started playing, and continued all day long. Try as I might, I was unable to 'disable' the sounds coming from my nether regions.
That day, the route I was delivering was a 'walk out' with a push cart. I had several relays in the office, when I would reload the cart, then go back out to deliver. On my 2ND relay, I was called into the office by the station manager. My steward was present, as well as the station manager, my carrier foreman, and the director of customer services from the mail processing annex. It seems that a customer at a business I had delivered to had commented to someone about the 'musical' letter carrier. I don't know how, but it eventually got to the 'ears' of the director of customer services that I was 'distracting' customers on my (business) route with the 'provocative' music emanating from my nether regions. Hence the meeting I was forced to attend.
Now mind you ... as I sat there in the office being scrutinized by these 4 men, my panties continued to play the tune 'Love Me Tender'. It was priceless, watching these men try to keep a straight face and be serious. I began to unzip my shorts, but was informed by my steward that a display of the offending garment would not be necessary.
I explained the fact that I could not stop the music, and refused to remove my underwear unless they could provide me with another (clean and new) pair to wear first, at the cost of the PO. In other words ... I would not go 'without'. Furthermore, I told them they could not dictate my undergarments unless they were going to be covered by my uniform allotment.
It ended up as a simple request not to wear 'musical' undies in the future ... a request, not an order. I left the office whistling the tune in accompaniment to my underwear. I completed my rounds that day, and the 'talk' about the day’s events did not die down for weeks. Of course before all was said and done... people were saying the tune being played by my panties was 'Blow the Man Down'.
Retired – Branch 782
AUTHOR NAME: Silver Farr
AUTHOR CITY, STATE: California City, CA